“Love of oneself”

Loving or even liking yourself is sometimes the hardest thing to do. Why is it so hard to invest just as much time into ourselves as we do in others around us? I have finally begun the process just recently of being happy within myself. In a world filled with others bringing us down or judging us it is so easy to give into those judgements. We start to feel as though maybe they see something that we are missing and then the cycle begins… The downward spiral of self doubt and self judgment come into play. 

For so many years I have known in my heart that my intentions or my actions were pure and sincere, but the first time someone questioned it, it all fell apart! I was no longer secure in my intentions or actions and I began to worry if I was even doing it right. I feel like in the life that I have lead and the path that I have been chosen to walk, it is so easy for people to judge or to criticize something they themselves are not comfortable with or have no experience with. Still, just a simple word can get stuck in your mind and turn you into someone you are not. It can make you feel alone and wrong. 

So here I am, kind of starting from scratch. Building myself up from below the ground it feels like. This is a tougher process than I could have ever imagined. To let the words or actions of others bring us so far down is hard to swallow. Where I start now is loving me. Really though it is trying to like me. To try to tell myself all the things that are so easy for me to tell others is a challenge. I am a work in progress, but I am hoping the rewards will be amazing. To feel as though I am the person that others tell me that they see. That will be a start to this long and winding journey of self discovery, acceptance and love.